Our 2nd Ever Lily Press Chat

me: Hi! How are you?

Jana : I'm doing pretty good. :-) How are you?

me: Great! Are you getting a big storm tonight too?

Jana : Ha! Nope...ours came last night. Goodness. It was a nice downpour too. Soaked my shoes walkin' to dinner, LOL.
me: Wow! What fun! Did you have an okay 4th of July away from home?

Jana : Yes, it was pretty good. I actually have all this week off from work. Hurrah!

me: Really? That's nice! Are you getting homesick?

Jana : So, I went into town with some of my friends to watch the parade....ALERT held a cookout for the guys/staff....and Big Sandy had a nice fireworks display.

me: Oh, that's nice.

Jana : Not really. It hits once in awhile...for the most part, I keep too busy to be homesick. Not sure if that's good or bad, but... :-)
How was your 4th?

me: Don't you just love having "family" away from home? I think that's the nicest thing. I understand! It was great . . . my best holiday away from home so far! I went to a parade by myself in the morning (ha!), bought a hot dog at a gas station and ate it on the curb, and then later went to a big cookout at the pastor's house and then fireworks. I've only got another month here until I go home for Hannah's wedding and then have to decide if I want to come back again. That's the part I don't like - always deciding where to go and when! :-)

Jana : Are you committed for a time in El Paso? (that is where you are, right?)

me: Right. . . no, I can come and go as I please! They want me to stay for 10 years, they said, but they'll settle for anything. That was nice :-) I sometimes have this dichotomy of the quiet home life and active ministry away from home and wonder which I really should be doing. Maybe this back and forth is the best thing. Do you have that problem or have you worked it out?

Jana : Hmmm...Good question!

me: lol Too bad - I was thinking maybe you'd settled it and could help me out. :-)

Jana : What you should be doing....meaning, what you feel like the Lord/parents want you to do, or what people will say?

me: Umm. . neither of the last two. I guess I mean where I as a Christian woman ought to be

Jana : Oh, I see. A Christian, single woman with no hopes on the horizon for marriage, right? :-)

me: If God created women to be a help to men and flourish in the sphere of the home, what implications does that have for me? lol - right - does that change anything?

Jana : I was just asking what I've been asked personally, LOL.

me: Obviously I don't think it excludes the kind of stuff we're doing or I wouldn't be where I am, but how exactly does it fit?

Jana : I've been kinda wondering the same lately.

me: People keep saying "I hope you meet a nice young man - and SOON!" That cracks me up. I always add, "But I AM happy NOW!"

Jana : I guess I feel that being at ALERT for this time -- however long it is -- will prepare me to better serve with my husband. Hmmm...that didn't come out right.

me: I understand . . and I agree. I am learning so much - and I'm sure you are too

Jana : Oh, for sure!!!!!

me: but then. . . are we losing anything at the same time? Are we forgetting how to be content with washing dishes and mopping floors?
Are we convincing ourselves that THIS is real ministry and therefore being a mother isn't? In any way are we getting affirmation from being told we are helpful and doing good work instead of being content to BE

Jana : And I really feel like that someday my husband and I will be serving in a ministry setting and all this office work and leadership skills will be much needed.
Oh no! I feel like being a mother is a real ministry. God just hasn't called me to that right now. I wouldn't say it's the highest kind of ministry....well....hmmmm....

me: lol

Jana : Uh.....

me: I feel the same way about future ministry - that any skills I am getting now are most likely going to be helpful.

Jana : In all honesty, I didn't get your last sentence. Sorry -- I've been sleeping most of today. :P :-)

me: That's nice! I mean. . . as women who plan on being home, we have to receive our "fulfillment" from being and not from doing. We are valuable because we ARE and we serve God in quiet obedience. So does being away like this and being so actively involved in other (but also valuable ministry) tempt us to think "oh yes, now I am really doing something great" that is going to, in the long run, make us less content (or feel less important) being at home?

Jana : It can.... And I've struggled with that in the past.

me: I don't know. . . I just have a bit of cognitive dissonance once in awhile. Does just not getting paid make this valid woman's work for us?

Jana : I don't think getting paid has anything to do with it's. It's your motive.

me: Of course, we have impeccable motives :-)

Jana : LOL

me: But is this actually woman's work?

Jana : WELL....Is there a defined woman's work?
me: we're far removed from the "home sphere" I don't know. I think there is.

Jana : Where is home? Always with the family?

me: Uhh Not necesarily

Jana : Or can family be other people besides dad, mom, siblings?
I'm just asking. :-)

me: Good question. Maybe the question is who are we called to serve at this time in our lives?

Jana : Yes!

me: and I guess I have no trouble saying we can serve wherever the need and opportunity arise but I just wonder if in any way this could be inadvertantly hindering our future lives

Jana : It could, yes. My parents and I discussed this indepth before I came back to ALERT full time.

me: I know how easy it is for me to slip into thinking 'saving souls' is the real work and then slowly that is going to make me unhappy at home What did you conclude?

Jana : Accountability has been a big key. Making sure I keep my parents updated on what's going on, the ins and outs of my job and the people I work with, friends, and having them be able to tell me if they think my focus is getting off. Honestly, I'd be happy to go home.

me: And what would you say your focus is?

Jana : I'm happy to stay here too. :-)

me: I KNOW - that's what I keep saying - I'll be happy to go home any time! But does that make it okay?

Jana : LOL! Goodness, girl.....:-)

me: lol

Jana : My focus..

me: I'm so philosophical, I know. :-)

Jana : (give me a second) It goes back to what I said before: learning office/communication skills that will better help me serve with my husband someday. My day to day focus is to work alongside my boss and coworker to help families who stay on campus -- whether for a night, for Family Camp, or a huge 600 person conference -- the best possible. I mean...the best possible stay. Meeting their needs...
Serving them as Christ would.

me: OK So that would be similar to what I'm doing, I guess - facilitating groups, creating a good atmosphere - that's funny. Hospitality is definitely in the woman's sphere, I think. So maybe we're fine. :-)

Jana : And I love it!!! Stretches me beyond what I think humanly possible.....but I love it. Love it because God has called me. LOL!
Yeah, maybe we are fine. :-) End of discussion. ;-)

me: LOL Okay, phew, just checking.

Jana : Really...you pegged a good point re: hospitality.

me: I guess maybe the guidelines would be - we need to go home if suddenly we aren't willing to go home. We need to go home if we're getting addicted to people's approval. We need to go home if there are things at home that are more pressing. Would those be good guidelines?

Jana : Sounds good to me. I would add too -- Might want to consider going home too if you're........okay, my brain isn't coming up with any words. :P Uhhh.... Well, never mind. I guess it falls under "people's approval".

me: lol I know the line, because I've crossed it in the past :-)
And I guess it's good to go home often enough that we "test the waters" and our contentment levels

Jana : Sounds like a good chapter for your book. :-D And to keep the home ties alive.

me: Yeah. My poor book. It's either dying a long, slow death or waiting for a glorious resurrection :-)

Jana : That's hard to do when away....keep in touch, be apart of the family, yet so far away. I like the ressurection idea. ;-)

me: Yes - and I seem to be either very homesick or else so busy I can't think about it.

Jana : Okay, that's another reason why I need a laptop for my birthday....

me: One is probably a coping mechanism for the other Ha ha Why - you're going to help me write? :-) You can be my official editor.
I can e-mail you everything I have so far and you can butcher it

Jana : And too...I've found you can't truly focus on your work, if you're always worrying about home life. Your heart can't be in two places. Oh, I'd love to help write and butcher.

me: At least I got "my story" all typed out from my talk. Really? Great! As soon as I get home, I will flood your inbox. Actually, maybe I should mail them to you on disk. Did I send you my talk notes? I'm going to turn it into a chapter or two

Jana : Yes -- looked fabulous, girl. Really and truly.

me: Aw, thanks. I forgot to say we had a book for sale, though. I'm SO not a businesswoman.

Jana : LOL!

me: Well, I guess I'd better go find some dinner.

Jana : You need a man to do the business end anyway....;-)
me: Right!

Jana : Yeah, and I need to get back to the house. Soooo nice to chat with you, dear!!!!!!!!!!

me: Oh, you too!
I need friends like you!

Jana : Miss you....wish we weren't so far away. ;-)

me: You understand my problems :-)

Jana : HA! It's nice to have someone who understands mine...and can voice them, LOL.

me: Yeah, I do too. Too bad we're not in the same city.