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Getting From Here to There
One of my husband’s main complaints about business meetings is people’s lack of ability to see how to get from point A to point B. The discussion gets off track, too much time is spent on side items, and the focus is removed from the real issue…what should we do to get from “here� to “there�? When looking at the lives of adult daughters, we often have the same problem. Helping them take the time to define where they want to go and then thinking through the steps to get there is an important safeguard against mistakes. The mistakes made during this stage of life are costly and not just financially. What is the value of time lost and the emotional and spiritual pain incurred through a lack of thinking ahead and wise planning? When dealing with our sons, we don’t struggle with this direction issue in the same way we do with our daughters. If you had a son who wanted to be a carpenter, not one of us would insist that he go to law school before allowing him to work with wood. If your son had the talent and desire to be a classical concert pianist, you would not encourage him to spend his days in hard labor and with machinery where he would develop calluses and risk the loss of fingers which would jeopardize all his future plans. And yet, how many young ladies with a desire for godliness and a future as a wife and mother spend their days doing things that are just as foolish? We struggle because the characteristics of success in our daughter’s chosen field are more difficult to define, but it is possible to make a plan for getting from A to B. Given the indisputable truth of the law of sowing and reaping, we cannot afford to be slow to articulate and work out a plan
To begin with, we must make a list of the characteristics and skills required to succeed in the chosen field: feminine godliness. The obvious starting point for this list is Proverbs 31, but I Timothy chapter five is one of our favorites. When reading the list of activities that women should have engaged in during their lifetime in order to come under the care of the church when widowed, we find a clear directive to all women that these are the things they should be busy about at every stage of their lives. Following is a short and not nearly exhaustive list of character traits, skills, and activities that the Godly woman should be pursuing.
1) A helper, equipped and suitable
2) Submissive
3) Loves her husband and children
4) Discreet
5) Chaste
6) Show good judgment
7) Keeper at home
8) Well reported for good works
9) Washes the feet of the saints
10) Servant attitude
11) Hospitable
12) Lodges strangers
13) Works willingly with her hands
14) Good manager of money
15) Extends her hands to the poor and needy
16) Industrious not lazy
Since these are the characteristics of our chosen profession, feminine godliness, we have just clarified our point B, the place we are trying to get to. Now what is the road from where we are to where we want to be? In My Father’s House says, “if the girl is mother to the woman – that is to say, if the woman will be what the girl now is, this time, which is essentially one for settling habits, cannot be anything less than the most important in life.� Our road must consist of practicing each of these character traits in our daily life as a way of laying a solid foundation for our future.
As a way of keeping ourselves on track, we developed a list of questions to ask before beginning or accepting any activity. Our list is as follows:
1) Do my parents approve of this activity?
2) Does this promote my family’s mission?
3) Will this unnecessarily put me in situations where it will be difficult to maintain the standards of my family?
4) Can I participate in this activity without neglecting any of my family responsibilities?
5) Will this activity develop any desires that will cause me to be discontent at home?
6) Will I be taking on any male roles by participating in this activity? (The woman’s role is that of helping, serving, and submitting. The Biblical male role is to provide, protect, and lead.)
7) Is this training me to depend on outside sources for affirmation?
8) Will this activity put the focus on me or put the focus on others?
9) Will this activity make my schedule inflexible so I cannot change my plans if a need arises?
10) Does this activity promote maturity or immaturity?
11) Will this activity develop traits in me that a future husband would thank me for bringing into marriage?
Can you get from point A to point B? Certainly, but stay on the right road. Don’t follow the world’s pattern of living if you don’t want to end up with a “self-centered� life. Think before making decisions. Live today what you want to be tomorrow.
— Posted by Tammy
Posted by lilypress at June 24, 2005 8:55 PM
