Books, books, books

As you can imagine, these new acquisitions provided him with a packing challenge on his trip home. Who made up that fifty pound rule the airlines hold you to?

I found a new treasure. It is a book for newlyweds written in 1850 by Rev. Daniel Wise. He wrote one of our other favorites, The Royal Path of Life. Have any of you ever heard Little Bear say not to bother looking for any good old books since he already has them all? I can’t help thinking of him when I stumble on a good find. I want to know if he has this one. I am enjoying Rev. Wise’s wisdom gained through years of experience. Part of the section on Friends and Relatives gave me quite a chuckle. Here is an excerpt:

“A happy domestic life should be regarded as a prize worth having, even at the cost of many struggles. Nor can it be reached without high purposes and decided efforts. Still, if you both determine to enjoy it, it will unquestionably be yours.

In becoming man and wife, you have not only changed your relation to each other, but to your respective families. Both have been admitted into a new family, and very much of your conjugal happiness depends on the union of your families now brought into intimate connexion by your marriage. A delightful harmony, a troublesome jealousy, or a painful indifference will shortly spring up to bless or to trouble you. By proper caution on both sides, a harmonious union, which will make sweet music, may be permanently established.

Should there be a step-mother or a maiden sister who has previously acted as housekeeper for the bridegroom, the young wife may have a task to perform which will demand the employment of all her energies.

In such a case, it is the duty of the husband to transfer, fully and formally, all domestic management from his mother or sister to his wife. There cannot be two mistresses in one domestic establishment; and it is the right of the wife to preside as a queen over her own household. Any attempt to divide authority between her and another will certainly create trouble; while no sensible mother or sister will complain, if, at the kind wish of the son or brother, she is requested to defer to the lawful mistress of his home; though very much depends on the gentleness and kindness with which the bride exercises that authority. She should do it with all that love and respect which becomes a daughter or sister-in-law.�

Our older girls have been spending more and more time living with their brother. His house is cleaner, he eats better, our girls have adjusted to being away from home, and it has relieved some of everyone’s sadness due to our family’s separation. We have some entertaining stories of the girls’ arrival at his home after he has been on his own for a while. One of the funniest was a telephone call the morning after two of the girls arrived when they moaned, “This apartment smells like boy!� The girls have often mentioned how nice it will be to visit Micah after he is married. They daydream about arriving at his house and seeing all his shirts already washed and ironed and being able to help in the kitchen without first having to purge his refrigerator of its moldy contents. That is why this part of the marriage book was so funny to me. I suppose Rev. Wise is correct that it may be hard for a new wife to feel she has to keep house at the level Micah’s sisters have, especially since they have years of knowledge about what his preferences are. I doubt, however, that anyone will put up a fight for the title of “queen of his domestic establishment�. “Loving sister� and “frequent visitor� minus the role of “housekeeper� will be wonderful stations to fill.

—Posted by Tammy